You are upgrading to Step Mom's bedroom.

I hate to be the one to tell you this. I'm so sorry, but I'm taking your father out of the house.

Your father has been unfaithful. I know it's hard for you to hear, but he has.

And it's so cliché, he was actually cheating on me with his secretary. How embarrassing.

Right? He's leaving. So, um, from now on, it's just going to be you and me.

Ever since me and your father got married a few years back, you've really just become such a son to me.